Well, a calm day led to an eventful night (which is never good here). Elayna is fine now, but I definitely prefer boring.
After Jake left (we had been sitting around watching her nap all evening) she sat up at 10pm and declared herself ready to watch a show. Silly girl.
I could tell her throat was bothering her. The mucositis creates a lot of gunk in there and she hates it. I was watching her and then all of a sudden she was throwing up and there was very obvious blood.
Now, this is actually not uncommon- she’s been throwing up a fewtimes a day, and her throat is very raw and has ulcers that will be constantly irritated- but it’s not easy to look at your best girl and accept that this is another part of treatment. It’s so hard.

She’s seven-years-old. She should be having sleepovers and going swimming and enjoying first grade. In no universe is it okay that she is throwing up blood.
Again… I just keep thinking… This shouldn’t be happening. And not just “This shouldn’t happen to my kid.” I would do anything to make it so that this never had to happen to any kid ever again.
They said that Melphalan itself is such a truly toxic chemo and brings on tough mucositis, but Busulfan and Thiotepa also do that, so the combo often brings about some of the roughest they see here. Super.
Elayna handled it all like the tough little sweetie that she is. No tears were shed by either of us, we just cleaned up and gave her a shower before snuggling back in for the night. As if we’re both already becoming used to this horrible alternate reality.
She’s sleeping peacefully now.
This just shouldn’t be happening……
Those of you who have donated through Elayna’s honor page at Unravel Pediatric Cancer are doing so much more to support us than you realize. My heart lifts each time I see another donation. I truly believe we can change this. We have to change this.
Haven’t been there? Please check it out: http://unravelfor.org/elayna
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